Why Is the Room Still Spinning?

When I began taking Adriamycin and Cytoxan, I faithfully followed my schedule of anti-emetics.  One of the pills affected me in a way that still makes me shudder with horror. 

A day or two after chemotherapy, I noticed that I was unsteady on my feet.  I wondered about this new cocktail being given to me but then shrugged off any worry.  The next day, my dizziness worsened.  The room began to tip back and forth.  I could barely get around the house.  Another day passed and the room began to spin.  I tried to stand but it was impossible.  I wondered if throwing up might stop the spinning but could not muster the courage to vomit.

It was summer time and my kids were playing rambunctiously in the living room.  I wanted to spend time with them so I lay on the floor and tried to watch them play.  It was like looking at the deck of a ship as it was angrily tossed about during a hurricane.  I hugged the floor and tried to focus on their fun. 

For four days, I lay on the floor of our living room.  Periodically, I would stagger to the restroom or shower like a drunkard.  Mostly, I slept.  Sometimes I watched the children out of one eye.  My husband is a hero to me.  He took on everything during those four awful days.  Finally, I stumbled to the kitchen to read the dancing description of side effects from each medicine bottle. 

As I read the list of side effects, I came to realize that my dizziness was caused by one of the medications.  How I despise those devil pills!  If I had a sling shot, I would send each capsule flying!

Chemo Comparisons

Chemotherapy, though harsh, has some interesting benefits. 

My first twelve rounds of chemotherapy were of Paclitaxel.  Paclitaxel was not very nice to me in some ways because my hair fell out in large clumps and I had some peripheral neuropathy happening.  However, the antihistamines and anti-emetics given gave me an incredible high that lasted for days. 

My thoughts would run like this:

"I'm here.  I'm cool.  I look like a harpy.  Dude."

"I see you talking to me but processing what you are saying just isn't happening.  I'll fake it."

"Are you upset with me today?  I'm high.  I don't care."

I could go on but we would just be delving into the ridiculous.  To summarize, Paclitaxel was my F-it Pill.

My next eight rounds of chemotherapy were of Adriamycin and Cytoxan.  That combination was very mean and the anti-emetics given were not as fun.  Adriamycin is aptly nicknamed the red devil for so many reasons.  My hands turned a dark, murky red-brown and my nails discolored.  I also spent four days lying on the floor watching the world spin but that is another story.

Organ Donors: Can I Donate My Boobs?

Before I was diagnosed with cancer, I had considered becoming an organ donor and having that designation placed on my driver's license.  Well, I highly doubt anyone wants my organs anymore. 

My sad little organs have endured 20 weeks of chemotherapy along with large doses of antihistamines and anti emetic drugs.  Hopefully, they don't have any stray cancer cells hiding in their tissue.

The charitable side of me still wants to donate a body part, though.  I want to help someone in need.  In fact, the first things I would like to donate are my boobs.

What?!?

Nobody wants my boobs?!?

I can't possibly understand why.

Lake Church

I did twenty weeks of chemotherapy during the spring and summer of this year.  My head was fashionable bald and decorated with feminine accessories.  I still had terrific boobs albeit one was trying to kill me.  With all that in mind, my husband and I decided to take advantage of the terrific weather and spend Sabbaths down at the lake. 

Lake church is terrific.  Depending on our mood, we camp, dive, swim, picnic, hike, walk the dog, or skip rocks on the water's surface.  I absolutely love going to the lake.  It is so peaceful and soothing. 

My husband and I used to have lake church all the time before we had kids.  We still try to go to the lake with the kids but sometimes it can be like trying to corral ants.  However, my New Year's resolution will be to go to the lake as often as I can.

Sara Bald

I did a photo shoot with an awesome photographer this summer.  Here are the links to the pictures.

http://brandireynolds.com/2012/06/21/life-is-art-sara-is-a-warrior/

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Brandi-Reynolds-Photography/238973019533299

Lessons From Tyra

I secretly love to watch America's Next Top Model.  The hair, the makeup, the clothes all capture my imagination.  Their fashion ideas are so fun and funky.

Now that I am bald, I watch with a discriminating eye to see if I can swipe any fashion and makeup ideas for myself. 

For me, sporting a bald look takes guts and style.  I'm trying not to look like a small boy in summer so I wear dark eye makeup, shiny earrings, dark lipstick, and girly outfits.  So far, my strategy is working.  I still feel feminine. 

Thank you Tyra for shaving some of your models' heads!

The Buzz Cut

On my birthday looking very much like a harpy, I called my husband and asked if he would buzz my hair.  He agreed to do it.  With a sense of warped excitement, I headed home. 

There my husband stood with clippers in one hand and a pair of scissors in the other.  His brother and sister-in-law joined us for the fun and began to video tape the procedure.

Snip, snip, snip.  Off went my nasty strands of hair.

Buzz, buzz, buzz.  Now, my head was exposed to the world.

When I looked in the mirror, I was surprised to see my head was nicely shaped. 

"Very cool."  I thought to myself.

I guess if my head has to be shaved, it is a bit of a bonus to have a nicely shaped head.  However, my husband feels that I should have left my harpy hair on my head and run around town with no hat.  The shock value of my head would have been out of this world.